Sensing presence

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This is a special time, right now.

I am blessed with time, time enough to walk with my little ones, every day.

Sensing a transition in my life, a moving towards something new, a new way of being perhaps – sometimes I feel like I’m shedding skin and finding whats underneath to be ready to burst forth – sensing a need for stillness as I await this transition. Yet stillness is so hard to find in my life filled with little ones, school pick-ups at different times, the washing, so much washing, gatherings – the wonderful gatherings – and again i push my stillness back, away, for ‘later’.

Yet I realise this gift I have right now, every day. I walk with my children for three miles every morning – the first one and a half with all three of them, taking our eldest two to school, the second mile and a half with my youngest on the return journey. Sometimes he scoots, today we had the sling.

And I realise, as we walk through the woods, as we search for conkers; as we pick blackberries, elders, hawthorns; as we collect acorns for our seasonal table; as we sit on a bench at a busy crossroads watching traffic, a crane, the trains; as we walk up our new road, with the variety of houses, gardens, gnomes … I realise the stillness that is found in presence, I sense the gift that is presence, as I walk with my son. I don’t rush – I can’t rush – he has little legs. I have nothing else to do, in these moments of walking with him. And sometimes I can talk with the trees, I can sense the breeze, I can notice clouds, I can stop for a minute and talk to a stranger, a new neighbour, the binmen. And I am so grateful for this time, of being connected to here and now, to this moment. When nothing else is needed apart from being present. And as I sense this gift I know this is part of my calling for this unfolding coming phase – presence.

And although I do need a stillness of my own as well, oh how I need it, I know too that the stillness found in presence of the kind I experience also carries whispers of Truth, Being, Life that I need to hear.

I haven’t posted a lot recently. I have kinda wanted to, yet also felt full, and perhaps sometimes sensed the struggle that is in our every day busy life. I didn’t know how to articulate it, share it. Oh, and our camera has broken, and I don’t like blogging without a pic of some kind (although I also am not a fan of capturing every moment via device rather than in my heart).

But I am grateful to be able to share the journey. And I want to share it, and I find strength in sharing it – and I want to share the challenge as well as the beauty.

So, anyway, right now, I celebrate the gift of presence, the gift of the three hour round trip to school each morning – it won’t always be like this, but right now, I am so grateful for it, and for what it allows to unfold in me.

Feeling blessed.

x


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